October is not just a month to scare it's also a month to be Cancer Aware

In February 2013, I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. Before this devastating news, I had been experiencing this unbearable pain a couple of months before. My tolerance for pain was pretty high and I had what is known as the “white coat syndrome”. Going to the doctor would always send me into a complete frenzy. Therefore, I drank a lot of orange juice because I believed that to be the cure for EVERYTHING! Little did I know,this pain was extremely severe to the point I could not lay down, could not eat, and sleep was out of the question.

I went to the Emergency Room a few times and unfortunately left the same as I had gone in without any answers. I even got referred to specialists, desperation would be a light term to describe how I felt. I was given prescriptions (which I hate taking medicine) remember orange juice? Even then, still was not giving any pain relief. Due to no one being able to tell me what was going on and no diagnosis was given, I continued going to work everyday at 6:45 am with no sleep and in excruciating pain. I look back and still try to figure out how I did that.

After about couple of months of going back and forth to different doctors, there seemed to be no hope anywhere in sight. I still remember this particular morning like yesterday, I awakened to numerous, massive (think of golf balls) size lumps in my breasts. I think it was at that moment I went into complete shock. This time I packed a bag and called my sister to tell her to come and take me to the hospital. Going home could not and would not be an option for me this time. My sister came over and picked me up and it is at this time I show her my breasts. She tried to keep a brave face for me. She later revealed that she almost passed out. When I arrived to the hospital with the enormous lumps that visible to the naked eye, is sadly when I finally got attention. After a few hours of test and x rays, I was transported to the larger hospital via paramedics. Unknowingly to me, this would become my second home for over the next 6 months.

After several more test and biopsies…..my life took a life changing turn. Or should I say ANOTHER life changing turn. February 2011, I had lost my grandmother (my mother, my rock) So 2 years after losing her I am knocked down AGAIN by life. Never did it cross my mind that life could get any worse for me. I look back on it now and I have discovered that when you experience any type of traumatic event in your life, if it is not dealt with head on it will come out sideways. In my case it was the later I do believe. But I digress, that is for another discussion for another day. So picture this, I am 31 years old, I just recently lost my grandmother, single, no kids and I am about to have to fight for my life. For whom though was my question.

The chemotherapy I received was abrasive, and very harsh. The doctors stated that the treatment had to be aggressive because the cancer was aggressive. Unbeknownst to me, I was on the brink of death. The treatments became more painful than the actual pain I had been dealing with for months prior. Sometimes I would just watch the different chemicals go into my body drip by drip. One of those bags has been referred to the “Red Devil”. One day when while receiving the “Red Devil” I could not take it anymore. I was DONE! I wanted all the IV’s out right then and there. My room became flooded with doctors and nurses trying to get me comfortable. I remember one nurse asking me “you know what will happen to you if we stop these treatments?” I looked her straight in the eye and answered "Yes"! They finally got me back settled in. It was at that moment from packing my bag and calling my sister that morning months before to be taken to the hospital I realized what was happening to me. I had Cancer.

I had people t pretty close to me that had counted me out ,going around telling others that I was not going to make it. Although I had naysayers on one side, on that other side though I had Jesus!! And he wasn’t ready for me just yet. Just know that when you have people that are counting you out, God places more people in your life that will root for you AND COUNT YOU IN. Even when it may be hard for you to root for yourself.

Yes, I was single. No, I did not have any kids and Yes , I had just lost my rock. Although I wanted to give up I received strength that could have only came from HIM. God opened my eyes to see that I had more reasons to fight for than I knew. Of course I had my dear family and friends. In addition to that, for the people that are currently fighting this battle to let you know to continue fighting you have people that love you, praying for you and counting you in! To those of you that has lost someone to this battle, I too know that pain as well, but just know they fought and that in itself is a WIN. Oh! One more person, I had to fight for Myself!

This reminds me of the story of Job. He was attacked on every level as was I. I lost a lot during this time. God replenished Job with what he had plus more than he could have ever imagined. Have you ever felt like you were at rock bottom? Have you ever felt as if you lost everything? We might not ever get the answers as to why these things happen; but Job never got the answer. However, we should remain steadfast in knowing that it gets greater later. God always has a plan for us and that is to prosper us and to give us HOPE and a FUTURE!

Activate your Faith!