Everything teaches us a lesson you see, Here is what Cancer taught me

During this particular time that I was fighting for my life, many lessons were learned. Sometimes painful things can teach us lessons that we did not think we needed to know. At times it can take several years to find out the reason as to why something has happened in your life if you find the reason at all. On the contrary, it is not hard to pick out the lessons for they are shown rather quickly. Here are a few that I would like to share with you.

Hair is a big deal in the black community. Often, we use it as a way to express ourselves. I remember when I was a little girl, how I thought girls with longer or “good” hair were more beautiful than girls with shorter and kinky hair. I was in the latter group. The idealization of beauty is placed in our heads at a very young age. From media, our toys (barbie dolls) that we played with and the list goes on. The idea of what beauty was followed me into junior high, high school, college, and past on. Getting and keeping my hair done was a must! I would stress like crazy before getting my hair done, making sure that that the beautician saw my vision. I wanted my hair exactly like the picture! I would even hold the picture up the entire time while getting my hair done just so they would not forget. (smile) Shout out to them all because they were wonderful for putting up with me. Fast forward, when I became ill, I remember one day combing through my hair, and patches of my hair were in the comb. (sigh) It was happening my hair was falling out. Over the course, my head became, what is that saying? Clean as a baby's bottom. Eventually, the panic wore off and it was not so bad. Even when my hair began to grow back, I kept my hair short for a while after. Lesson learned: Length nor texture or even hair itself did not determine beauty. It made me more aware that We are all made in HIS image therefore, we are all perfect. Genesis 1:27

I once was very career-oriented. I was all about climbing that corporate chain. Even to this day, I struggle with who I was before cancer as well as battling with myself daily if I will ever be “her” again. You are told after cancer that you must find your new normal. I believe this to be true for anyone that has been through any life-changing circumstance. You try your absolute best to move forward because as you know like I do that the world does not and will not stop for you, but to no avail, at times you just feel stuck. During this life-changing event, I began to look at life through a different lens. This illness more so made me clearer on what I deemed important before and now what I tunnel in on most important to me. Although, cancer may have taken away my confidence, aspirations, and drive for the corporate world. It did not take away my determination to continue pushing even when I am not quite sure what it is that I am pushing for. At times I can strictly be me pushing to keep my sanity! Lesson learned: Your “new normal” does not mean that you still can’t be great!!

Life can give you what is known in the boxing world as a TKO (knockout). It is right then when you are down and start to look around and see what is still there, who is still there. This is key!! What did I still have? Life! Who was still there? Family, friends, plus a few angels that God placed in my life during this time. For these things, I am truly grateful. For these things, is what I hold near and dear to my heart. For these things, I now deem what success means to me. No, I am not the woman I was before, and I am presently working on accepting that, albeit it saddens me when I think of the possibilities, it is a tough pill to swallow. Still, I feel that God is creating something beautiful inside me even in the midst. Lesson learned: No, you may not be the person that you once were before you got knocked down by unexpected life circumstances. In any event, something beautiful is rising inside of you!

This reminds me of a poem written by Tupac Shakur. Titled the Rose that grew from the concrete

“Did you hear about the Rose that grew from the concrete?

Proving nature’s law wrong it learned to walk without having feet.

Funny it seems, but by keeping it's dreams, it learned to breathe fresh air

Long live the rose that grew from concrete when no one else ever cared”

Your concrete can be anything from an illness physical or mental, loss of a loved one, loss of a relationship, even feeling the loss of yourself. Whatever your concrete is a rose can still grow through it! Your life and your dreams may be different than before. I would have never imagined that I would be writing and sharing my life with the world. But hey, here I am! Having said that, I wish I can sit here and tell you that I learned these lessons and I do not let said things mentioned above bother me anymore, but I must be honest with you and myself. I still do!! I even stress myself out for letting such minute issues having such a major impact on me still. When I know things could be so much worse. Lesson learned: Throughout life, we will continue to change whether it is intentional or situational either way you still have a purpose!

After this battle, I knew for sure that things would only go up from here. Well, that was not the case. I have received plenty more knockouts before I could even stand up from the other. I am waiting for the referee to intervene wave in the towel or whatever it is they do. As I ponder on my light at the end of the tunnel. It came to me the fruit of the spirits. One of those fruits stood out, Long-suffering. I never quite understood how a word that has suffer in it can be fruit from God. Truthfully, that was one of the fruits I wanted to avoid. When I researched this word further, I got a couple of interpretations. One is patiently enduring lasting offense or hardship. Another meaning does not surrender to circumstance or succumb under trial. Just know that your season of long-suffering is nothing against you. Yes, it seems as though you can’t get over one hurdle before another comes full throttle at you. I have begun to look at it as a faith work out, to make our faith stronger we must endure what feels like the weight of the world just as we lift weights to make our bodies stronger. Lesson learned: God is the referee and just like the Hebrew boys, Paul, Daniel even JESUS went through one challenge after another, at the end of their long-suffering they all came out on the Victorious Side!

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